Take this post as you will, for this is my personal analysis of how I would (and do ) respond to unkindness (a.k.a mean people).

First off, how would you define a mean person? Think real hard.

I don’t know about you, but I define a mean person as someone who intentionally tries to hurt and bring down another person, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally.

I don’t think I need to give examples of acts of meanness because I’m sure you’ve been hurt once, twice, or maybe even a thousand times in your lifetime. But let’s just say you have been shielded from the iciness of these acts and are living in a beautiful, kindness bubble filled with lovely people who do nothing but give compliments…well, first off, I wanna live with you and secondly, here are a few examples that I’ve experienced. 

TOP 3 ACTS OF MEANNESS:

1] A DIRTY LOOK:
A “Get out of my way because I’m too busy, jealous, grumpy, or whatever” kind of look!

2] A SNIDE REMARK:
A “I’m going to pick on you so I feel better about myself” type of comment!

3] A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE EMAIL, FACEBOOK MESSAGE, ETC:
A “I’m going to belittle you, but not in public because I don’t want anyone else to hear” kind of message.

If you have ever experienced these, please know that you are not alone and although I’m sure you want to respond back with extra mean remarks, please don’t.

MEANNESS +MEANNESS = A WHOLE WORLD OF HURT

If you respond to an act of meanness with a nastier act of meanness, you are fighting fire with fire. This is a very dangerous approach. As the fire gets bigger and bigger, you may become more and more out of control, which in turn, can transform you into a mean person.

DON’T FUEL THE FIRE!

3 WAYS TO PUT OUT THE FIRE:

1] DON’T ACT ON IMPULSE:
After someone does something that is less than kind, don’t say or write the first thing that comes to your mind because nine times out of ten, it will make the situation worse and might also make you feel guilty. Make sure you always give yourself time to calm down so that you can think rationally. This is key!

2] STAND UP FOR YOURSELF:
The most important tip I can give you is to stand up for yourself! Whether family, friends, or strangers, don’t let someone walk over you. You are entitled to speak up just like they are. The only difference is that you are going to respond back with kindness, not hate.

3] FIGHT MEANNESS WITH KINDNESS:
The meaner they get, the nicer you get!

This in my rule of thumb when dealing with ugly behavior:
With every unpleasant comment (whether spoken or written), respond back with the “beautiful truth” as I like to call it. Stay true to yourself, say what needs to be said, but say it in a positive, “I’m praying for you” kind of way. DON’T BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!

HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO A MEAN PERSON?

BY KNOCKING THEM OUT? LET’S HOPE NOT…

BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF!!

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OUCH!!!

xoxo,

Kristin

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  1. johncoyote

    Very wise advice. A negative person want a outlet. Best to not give them one. Sometime simple words as “I understand” can slow down a problem. Thank you for your thoughts on a important issue.

    Reply

    1. Lauren

      I love this post and totally agree with your advice, especially to just be kind with them. I had to work with a “mean girl” at one of my previous jobs and at first I just couldn’t believe how rude she was, not just to me but to everyone! Once I got to know her a little better, I could tell that she was clearly unhappy with her life which was probably why she had such a sour attitude. I figured if I was just kind to her, it might make her feel better, or at the very least I would not stoop down to her level of how she treated others.

      Reply

      1. Kristin

        Thank you so much Lauren! That is exactly it, that you never know what someone is going through or has gone through over the years. It’s sometimes hard to see someone for more than just their negative attitude, but I’m a firm believer that kindness is contagious! I really appreciate your comment!! 🙂 🙂

    1. Kristin

      Thanks SO much! Haha, trust me it’s not always easy, but I really appreciate you taking your time to leave a comment! That means a lot and shows what a fantastic, fabulous, WONDERFUL person you are!! 🙂

      Reply

    1. Kristin

      Thank you so much! I’m not perfect by any means, but I’ve learned to look at the bigger picture (what this person might be going through) before I respond with negativity. I appreciate your response!

      Reply

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