Hey y’all!! Happy…Saturday? Oops, totally didn’t mean to leave you guys hangin’ yesterday…just got a little busy. Soooo…What’s new? What’s old? How ya doing? I’m fine. Just a girl rockin’ the world I guess. Can’t complain. I’m excited that I ran today! It’s been a few days (hence, recovery mode), so I was ready to knock it out of the park. In runner talk that means, I ran like the wind!
Anyways, fun fact here: I’m convinced that my husband read this article and that he now impersonates Lorde when he sleeps.
(Note: I’m obsessed with this song and with this 17 year old pop sensation cutie, SO I’m NOT making fun, k?)
Well, now that we’ve cleared that little issue up, here we go! Similar to how Regina George (from Mean Girls) knows that the word fetch will never ever happen is the same way I know that my theory is happening each night when I sleep. Scratch that, is happening each night when I don’t sleep. It’s no secret that my brain gets easily distracted at night. Seriously, it’s like the energizer bunny that’s had too many espresso shots….it never (scratch that, rarely) sleeps.
(Insert Dracula voice) WHAT DOES KRISTIN THIIINK ABOOOUT ALL NIIIGHT? (Wouldn’t you like to know!)
Scared much? Okay, probably not, so moving on! I swear, its like Marc (a.k.a. my hubby) falls asleep (right to sleep may I add…um, jerk!) and ventures into the wonderful world of dream pop. It’s totally stellar. I mean honestly, repeat knock out performances night after night. I’m expecting a bill at anytime!
Front row seats x every night = Cha ching (for Marc at least)!
At first I questioned what he was doing. I thought he was reenacting a scene from Addams Family Values. I was pretty sure it was the scene where Gomez Addams catches a knife in his teeth. I was thoroughly impressed! I think I might have even clapped (good thing we didn’t have those clapper lights…would’ve made for a looong night). But then I decided that that wasn’t it because although Marc was baring his teeth (like Gomez Addams) he was also doing this weird thing with his hands. I admit, I was a girl obsessed, playing charades like my life depended on it, eager to figure out the answer.
Alright, I clued into the claw fingers, twitchy vibe thing he had going on, so naturally thought about the scene in Hocus Pocus where Winnie conjures up that eternal youth spell. You know the one where she plans to suck the life out of every child. No biggie, right? I mean, how hard could that spell actually be? Aaand not that I really should mention this, but I have noticed a few wrinkles on his forehead aaand if I’m being honest, with him being (almost) 41, who wouldn’t want a more youthful sheen, huh? Buuut then I thought, you knooow, Marc is too nice for all that aaand he does look pretty young for his age, sooo probably not.
Sadly, I was hitting a dead end, but then he did this full body twitch thing (almost like he was preparing to sneeze, but not really). I lifted my hands in the air like I just didn’t care because golly, I had it!! Marc was subconsciously trying to scare me by channeling that 12-year-old girl Regan from The Exorcist. He knows I’m terrified of her. His hissing teeth, claw hands, and body shake made it chillingly clear to me. I quickly covered my face for fear of a pea soup explosion, but it never came. Come to think of it, we had veggie tacos that night. So close but no cigar baby!
Well, clearly I’m no Inspector Gadget, but I finally saw the mothership of all clues! Marc did this light stomp thing with his foot, almost as if he were trying not to kill a bug with his Frankenstein boots on (not that he was sleeping in them…or that he even owns a pair…I don’t think…). Regardless, I knew at once he was impersonating Lorde. Let’s gather the clues, shall we?
In his sleep, Marc was…
Clue #1: Baring his teeth
Clue #2: Working his claws
Clue #3: Twitching all over
Clue #4: Doing weird foot stuff
TA-DA!! Lorde!! Look at this and you’ll get it!! Hehe!! Hope ya enjoyed!! Love you Marc!! Thanks for letting me stare at you while you sleep because that’s not creepy at all, right? It’s amazing what you can find out about a person when you watch them sleep!! Because THAT is not creepy at all, right?! Tehehe! Have a fab weekend!! xoxo
WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM WATCHING PEOPLE SLEEP (because no, you’re not creepy at all!)???