“There’s a well-told adage that you only get one chance to make a first impression. From personal relationships to business meetings, we’re taught that people form opinions of us in a few moments, and that we should be ready to show our best at all times. On both sides of an exchange, we’re advised to trust our guts as our intuitions are telling us something important.”

Source

In our culture, we place a lot of unnecessary pressure on first impressions — job interviews and first days at school and first-time visits to churches.

But the truth is transformation happens long after introductions have been made. It’s when you’ve learned each other’s names and remembered a person’s hometown. That’s when you start making an impression.

Source

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!! My FIRST impression of YOU? Well, that you were fabulous of course, but that’s a whole nother story for a whole different day!! First impressions are often deceiving. We’re taught that first impressions matter, yet that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. See the juxtaposition?

SHOULD FIRST IMPRESSIONS REALLY MATTER??

Well, I don’t think so. For the most part, we build a person’s character by what we see, not by what we hear. Judgments based on how we look play a powerful role in society and contribute to how other people treat us. Sometimes, even a glimpse is enough for a person to shower us with their judgy looks. Looks do matter! Whether we want to acknowledge this or not, they do. We are judged every single day by how we look, for better or for worse.

We only get one first impression, huh? Well, for the most part, we’ll never know what that {one} first impression was, whether it be negative or positive/accurate or not, buuut sometimes, we do get a glimpse inside someone’s head when they tell us what they think! Just remember, that these moments don’t define you as a person, simply, they define that person’s character.

Check out my list of first impressions (i.e. impressions I made on people). Literally, these quotes were the first words spoken to me. Yep, I have a great memory!

{1} “Wow, you look like that actress from the movie, Legally Blonde! I forgot her name, but you look just like her!” Steve (my father-in-law)

{2} “When I first met you, I thought you were a big snob because your socks matched your outfit.” Shannon (a friend from high school)

{3} “Seriously, you could be Miss America!” Marc (my husband)

{4} “Geez, your arms! They’re ripped!” E.J. (a boy in my ninth grade geography class)

{5} “If I looked like you, I’d never come to the gym. Your body is perfect. Why do you bother coming?” (a lady working out next to me at the gym the other day)

{6} “UVA? Riiiight…like she could ever get into UVA…look at her, she’s a ditz!!” (…as I walked past two girls in the mall last year with my UVA hat on)

{7} “Are you like even old enough to teach??” (a former student)

{8} “Sorry to bother you, but is that your natural hair color?” (a lady with her husband at Pier 1 Imports)

{9} “If I could give you the job for being the prettiest, I would!” (what an interviewer said to me before interviewing me)

{10} “I mean, can you handle that dog??? You look kinda little.” (what a man said to me when he was too afraid to pass while I was walking my dog Prince)

Interesting stuff, right?? Aaaand the kicker is, they’re all pre-judgments based on how I looked; although, I do LOVE #’s 1, 2, & 3 because they’re adorable and make me laugh lots, but as for (some) of the others…admittingly, kinda hurtful!

NOW, TO JUST TOUCH ON A FEW POINTS…

For starters, I’m actually the one that trained Prince. I mean, he went through a doggy training class, but I worked with him day in and day out until he perfected his skills. He has always respected me as a leader.

Also, I earned my place at UVA. I worked my butt off to get there.

Finally, I’m not training/working out for aesthetics. I’m in the gym each and every day grinding my gears because it makes me a better athlete!

Sometimes, I just wanna walk up and share these fun facts with people. I mean, if you’re going to judge me aloud, at least let me explain myself, right? Hehe!!

DO YOU THINK FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE EVERYTHING?

HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN PEOPLE JUDGE YOU BEFORE THEY KNOW YOU?

You guys rock!!! XOXO

-Kristin

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  1. weight2lose2013

    It drives me crazy to be judged before anyone knows me. For the record, I don’t like to be judged – period! I say live and let live, enjoy everyone for who they are and don’t be judgmental. Have a great day, Kristin! 💗💗💗

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Rob, you’re such a great person!! I agree with you very much and I love what you said here!! It’s not our place to judge other people. I agree, too- that it drives me crazy to be judged!! It certainly doesn’t feel good! Have a Happy Friday!! XOXO

      Reply

  2. V

    You go girl! How dare anyone say that you don’t belong at UVA! Also, I totally get the not looking old enough to teach thing. In the classroom, students have no problem thinking I’m 30…out of the classroom? I still get carded when I go out to get drinks…which is oddly flattering.

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Thanks V!! I always love your kindness and support! Girl, you look so young and flawless. You are absolutely beautiful! I’m sure you do get carded!! Get it! 🙂 I appreciate your love! Have a Happy Friday!! XOXO

      Reply

    1. Kristin

      Such a great point Michelle!! We all deserve a chance and yes, I strongly believe first impressions can be lasting. Have a fabulous Friday! Thanks for always supporting me! It means so much! XOXO

      Reply

    1. Kristin

      I love it Melanie!! I love that you embrace who are you! That’s such a beautiful thing! Truly beautiful, just like you! I can be shy, too and used to be incredibly shy as a kid. I guess I can have a strong voice via my blog, but I do struggle with speaking up (in life) sometimes. I used to be so afraid of what people thought of me, but now I’ve learned to just be me!! It works!! Have a fabulous Friday!! XOXO

      Reply

  3. Just a Running Chick

    Great post! I completely agree with you. First impressions unfortunately exist. But I agree with Michelle – you have to give people a chance! This reminds me of one of my favorite Bible verses: Do not judge, lest you be judged. It’s like I wrote about yesterday: The woman admonishing me to be careful, when the sole reason I was on that trail is because the roads and regular sidewalks were so icy! LOL Silly, right?

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Ohhh yes, I totally agree with you and Michelle. Giving people a chance is what counts and what a great Bible verse!! Being judged hurts!! My parents always taught me to treat other people like I want to be treated. Thanks for your sweetness and for your comment!! You’re wonderful!! Have a Happy Friday! XOXO

      Reply

    1. Kristin

      Lena, I love it!! You’re so sweet and giving people the benefit of the doubt is amazing! First impressions can definitely be lasting, but giving people a chance is definitely key!! Have a lovely Friday! XOXO

      Reply

  4. Lauren @ ihadabiglunch

    What a great post! Hahaha the interviewer with the pretty comment…I would die of embarrassment. How mortifying! First impressions are important but unless you are expected to prepare for it, it’s so easy to make a mistake when you first meet people. You should definitely be allowed to have a second chance!

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Hehe, Lauren!! I have to say, that interview was very awkward!! I still remember that day quite vividly. Definitely embarrassing and weird. You’re right about that!
      “It’s so easy to make a mistake when you first meet people.”- Yes, so true!! I agree very much and I also agree with you that giving people a second change is important!! Have a fabulous Friday!! Thanks for your sweetness and support! You’re amazing! XOXO

      Reply

  5. thedancingrunner

    Love this:
    “Finally, I’m not training/working out for aesthetics. I’m in the gym each and every day grinding my gears because it makes me a better athlete!”

    Tell the truth, girl!! Love YOU!!

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      I get it Lee and thank you so much for your comment!! You’re so sweet!! I hope you’re having a wonderful week!! Almost Friday!! 🙂 Have a fabulous race Saturday!! Rock it! XOXO

      Reply

  6. Martha B

    I understand that everyone has the right to have whatever thoughts they want… however… why do people think it’s appropriate to blurt out their “first impressions” especially when it’s something rude? I would be ASHAMED of myself if I said something hurtful about someone I didn’t know and they could overhear it. My first impression of some of those people on your list is that the need some manners lessons. When I used to be seriously overweight, I got judged a lot. It was actually a good lesson for me in the importance of being KIND all the time.
    I know you have that figured out, though 🙂 You are a ray of sunshine! Have a great day!

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Awww Martha, thank you!! You’re the sweetest! Always love and appreciate your beautifully wise comments! Seriously, I do! 🙂 I agree with your comment 100%!! People definitely have the right to think whatever they want to think, but yep, purposely saying it loud enough for others to hear…definitely not nice. I’m so sorry you were judged- I know that was very painful for you. It never feels good to be judged. Words hurt!! Have a lovely Friday! Thanks for your support! XOXO

      Reply

  7. veryrach

    I hate when people judge me without knowing me! My teachers used to do it because I had an older sister – but she was a terrible student and I was NOT so it always made me feel very bad. I think its also important to not try to get “first impressions” when I meet someone new. I try to drop my pre-concieved notions, but sometimes it’s hard.

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Awww, so sorry you were judged by your teachers. I’m sure it was very hurtful to be judged by adults that should have supported you no matter what. Definitely not cool. I love what you said, too, that it’s a good idea to drop any preconceived notions you have about a person, but you’re right, it’s not always easy!! I definitely agree with that!! You’re the best! You’re so sweet! Have a Happy Friday! Thanks for your support! XOXO

      Reply

  8. veryrach

    p,s, My first impression of you was that you were such a POSITIVE and UPLIFTING person and that has turned out to be TRUE TRUE TRUE! Even if you don’t feel it, just know that you have personally made my day on more than one occasion. thank you

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Awwww!!! 🙂 Awwww!!! 🙂 Thank you so much! Seriously, wow, you just filled my heart with so much joy. Wish I could give you a hug!! I love hugs!! You just made my night. I mean it, thanks a bunch! You’re really sweet! Thank you for supporting me!! HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG & A KISS!!! 🙂

      Reply

    1. Kristin

      Hehehehe!! I love that you love Legally Blonde!! Such a cool, brilliant movie! Smooch! Thanks for making me smile! Your energy is so beautiful and uplifting! Thank you! XOXO

      Reply

  9. emaiuolo

    elle wooods is amazing and she’s always right, i love that movie (and Reese Witherspoons is okay). but yes and no. First impressions matter but just up to 25%. The rest is the best part. The problem is that sometimes the first impressions mess up the whole perception of that person…

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      I absolutely 100% LOVE your comment!! The fact that you put “and Reese Witherspoon is okay” is hilarious! You really made me laugh!! Tehehehe! 🙂 Anytime I’m given a percentage, I’m lovin’ it! I think you’re right, too- first impressions do matter, but only to a certain degree!! You know it!! You’re awesome! Have a fabulous Friday!! Thanks so much for your comment! XOXO

      Reply

  10. Running Betty

    I don’t believe in first impressions at all…I actually rarely remember my first time meeting a person and it takes a while for me to form an impression of someone. My problem is I have a hard time giving someone the benefit of the doubt once my opinion has been made (something I need to work on!) People can be very rude sometimes, and just don’t think about what they say. I don’t know why some people have such a hard time believing an attractive woman can have so much more going for her (like intelligence). I remember when we got a “new girl” at work…a gorgeous blonde in her early 20s who dressed like she worked at a high end fashion magazine. The comments I would hear! I started speaking up for her when I heard others calling her a ditz…I’d say,”actually she has a computer engineering degree from university of Maryland and is a lead programmer.” I enjoyed watching their jaws drop and how embarassed they’d be when being set straight! I’m sorry you have to hear hurtful comments and am glad that you have chosen still to be a kind person! That’s why you rock!

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Yep, Kristine, totally agree that impressions (once formed) can be lasting. I definitely understand that and can relate to that, too! I think that’s awesome that you rarely remember first impressions. That can definitely be a good thing. I wish I was more like that. Throughout my life, I’ve found that words have haunted me. I know it’s kinda weird, but it’s true. When it comes to certain things, I don’t always have the best memory, but when it comes to how someone made me feel, I will never forget that feeling, hence, will never forget what they said to me. It can definitely be a good thing, too, though, where as I remember beautiful and inspirational words spoken to me! Thanks for your comment!! I always love them!! Hope you’ve had a fantastic week!! Have a fabulous Friday!! XOXO

      Reply

  11. runsaltrun

    Everyone has a clean slate with me when they meet me and I don’t like buying into rumors either. I will form my own opinion of someone once I know them for real and if I never get that far well then I don’t pass any judgement! I know people have judged me for many things in the past. I’ve heard strangers whisper about my looks, about my daughter (she was a really big baby and I even got asked if I was really her mom because she was so big and I’m so small!), etc. Some really obnoxious things that hurt my feelings! I would never want to make someone else feel that way.

    This post is great and so are you! xo

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Awww Salt, who would EVER say mean things about you??? You’re a hard worker, inspirational, and so beautiful! I’m sorry people have made you feel bad! That’s horrible! You’re right, that words hurt!! People should definitely treat others like they want to be treated! That is what my parents taught me and I wish more people lived by that rule! I love that you don’t buy into rumors!! Wow, that’s soooo important because people can definitely be unfairly judged. You’re awesome! You’re amazing!! You’re Salt, which means, you rock!! XOXO

      Reply

  12. HappinessSavouredHot

    Interesting topic. I used to rely on first impressions, and I know they certainly apply in the workplace (interviews). However, I find that introverts deserve more time to get discovered. So I give them that time. I haven’t been too disappointed. 🙂

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Loving your comment!! You are very wise!! I definitely understand interviews and first impressions. That’s a very good point! 🙂 I can be a little shy when I first meet people, so yep, sometimes, introverts need a little more time to open up! So true!! Hope you had a wonderful week! Have a beautiful Friday! Thanks for your support! XOXO

      Reply

  13. Charlotte

    You have so many great points. It’s unfortunate that people make some of those comments except for your father in law and Marc…those were cute! It is hard to get past your looks, I’ll admit. You are a strikingly beautiful woman. But to your point, you are so much more. I would never judge a person’s intelligence based on their looks but I know many do. You are so much more than your looks. I don’t even know you personally and I can tell that. And, I’m a good judge! I can truly say that I no longer judge people on first impressions. I get judged on my southern accent. I think a lot of people think southern people are stupid or backwards. Shame on them. 🙂

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Ohhh totally shame on them!! I love Southern accents!! 🙂 Charlotte, thanks for always supporting me and for ALWAYS making me smile!! You are a truly gifted writer! You know just what to say to inspire me! It means the world to me! Where would I be without you?? 🙂 🙂 I love how brilliantly beautiful and amazing you are. You give so much kindness to so many people! Thank you for making me feel amazing. I don’t always feel beautiful so again, thank you for bringing this huge smile to my face. I think I owe you about 10,000 hugs!!! Have a beautiful Friday!! XOXO

      Reply

  14. ahardrain

    First impressions are lasting ones. I read somewhere that within the first 30 seconds you have already decided on a negative or positive perception. This is directly correlated by someones facial symmetry. So if you were blessed with great looks as you are then you are much more likely to come across positively. Fair or not that’s is how humans relate to one another. The only exception to this scientific fact is age. Children are not influenced by looks only us “mature” adults form these lasting impressions.

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Wow Wow Wow!! Thanks for the great insight!! I believe it, too! It makes sense! Facial symmetry, huh? I learn something new everyday! That’s very interesting! Thank you for your kind compliment, too! You’re so sweet!! Isn’t that amazing, too that within the first 30 seconds, someone makes a judgment…now, I definitely see how impressions can be lasting. Just amazing!! Have a beautiful Friday! Thanks again! XOXO

      Reply

  15. Ro

    This is an awesome topic! First impressions shouldn’t matter, but they do, and it makes life interesting, fun, frustrating and maddening, but it is what it is. Love your blog and the great comments. Hugs…www.intheknowwithro.blogspot.com

    Reply

  16. Open Up Life

    Namaste Kristin! Always inspired when I read your posts. Society today seems so concerned about how you look, what you do, how much money you make or what kind of car you drive. Nothing is more important than what is in your heart and how you treat others. Yes, it can be hurtful and frustrating sometimes when others judge you when they first see you with their eyes. But when you have a loving heart and an open mind, you learn to accept everyone for who they are and that’s when the love blossoms infinitely from your heart and soul.

    Ever since I have connected with you, it has been a journey filled with peace, love and everlasting kindness. Love and light my dear friend. XO

    Reply

  17. littlemoreeachday

    I think most of us have the good sense to a) keep our mouths shut and keep those first impressions to our selves and b) acknowledge that those first impressions are likely wrong so we should keep an open mind. 🙂 Open minds & closed mouths would solve all kinds of problems.

    Reply

  18. Christy Birmingham

    Over time as I’ve come across difficult situations I’ve learned not to rely on first impressions. They can be so inaccurate! Plus, I don’t want the judgement of someone doing that to me 🙂

    Reply

  19. Heena Rathore P.

    I strongly believe that first impressions are not always correct! I need to know the person before deciding anything for myself regarding that person… and yea, I hate to be judged!
    Great post Kristin ❤

    Reply

  20. Eagle Eye Wisdom

    Kristin, I loved this so much! Humorous for some of your first meetings and then a tad harsh on the others. You have a vibrant and great spirit and am looking forward to reading more from your blog.
    Gail~

    Reply

    1. Kristin

      Awww, thank you so much Gail! How sweet!! I appreciate your love! You really brightened my day (especially considering it’s pouring rain here), so thank you x a million!! 🙂 XOXO

      Reply

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